The Men Down Thunder

It was a cold and snowy night, but BW3 Livonia was alive with championship fever as the Minnesota Men took on the Toronto Thunder in the Friendship League Championship Series. I was only told after the series was over that I would be in charge of the write-up. Some of this might be totally wrong due to multiple Miller Lite tall boys, but here it goes.

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Game 1 - Toronto Thunderdome The Men came out strong scoring three runs in the first two innings. The Thunder came back strong, methodically chipping away at the lead given to F. Hernandez. By the sixth inning, we had a tie game. It would stay that way through 9 innings....on to extras. Top of 10, T. Flowers leading off against J. McGee.....Boom...gone...Toronto left in shock. W. Davis comes on to dispose of the Thunder. Game one in the books. Final score - 4-3 Men.

Game 2 - Toronto Thunderdome Over before it started. Veteran M. Texiera turned back the clock and belted two HR's along with seven RBIs. Men manager Scott Mallon left D. Hutchison out to dry. After giving up nine runs in four innings, Hutchison was sent out to pitch four more innings. "We need to save our staff," said Mallon. "Hutchy took one for the team today." After the victory, BW3 asked manager Steve Tufte how he was doing. He responded, "fine, thank you...I'll have another." Final score - 11-0 Thunder.

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Game 3 - Minnesota Mennen Dome In an unusual move, Scott Mallon told starting pitcher C. Young that he had a very short leash. With that sparkling bit of motivation, Young proceeded to implode in inning one...giving up three. He made it only two innings and was relieved by H. Santiago. Santiago steadied the ship, and the Men plugged away at the Thunder lead - taking the lead for good in the bottom of the sixth after a V. Martinez HR. The Men bullpen didn't give up a run to close it out. Final score - 8-3 Men.

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Game 4 - Minnesota Mennen Dome Ace F. Hernandez took the mound for the Men to face off against R. Porcello. Tufte told reporters before the game, "I've already written off this game." He was correct. Porcello lasted just one inning, giving up a couple of runs. The Men took a 4-0 lead into the bottom of 7th....and then Thunder struck. Walks and hits piled on. F. Hernandez was pulled from the game. The Men bullpen was able to throw some water on the flame, giving up only two runs. Tufte's Thunder was unable to muster up anymore offense the rest of the way. Final score: Men 4 Thunder 2.

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Game 5 - Minnesota Mennen Dome The scene was wild in Minnesota. Minnesota legends Kent Hrbek and the corpse of Kirby Puckett were in attendance. The announced crowd of 15,881 were loaded for bear....wait....15,881? WTF Minnesota? This game might vault you to the World Series!!! I digress. With this being what might end up being the last game in Derek Jeter's storied career, Men ownership offered up paternity law consultations in concourse A to all women that may have birthed a Jeter baby. Now...on to the game. J. Ellsbury gets the Men going with a HR in the bottom of the 1st. J. Donaldson knocks in V. Martinez for another score. Inning one ends with the Men up 2-0....the few people in the dome go nuts!! The game settles down until M. Prado blasts a HR in the top of the fourth. The Thunder add another run in the top of the seventh. Tie game!! This is when the butt cheeks clenched up - it was a tight one. 8th inning, no runs....9th inning, no runs....10th inning, no runs....11th inning, no runs. We go to the 12th inning. Manager calls down to the bullpen to get the next man up....guess what, nobody answers!! The entire pitching staff for the Men are drinking Buds and playing video games. Mallon turns to infield Y. Solarte and says, "Can you pitch?" Solarte turns to Mallon and says, "vete al infierno!!!" Since Mallon's Spanish is a bit rusty, he takes this to mean, "I'll walk through fire for you coach!!" The true translation is "Go to hell!!" Solarte takes the mound.....and pitches a gem! No runs, no hits and one strikeout. Bottom of the 12th now...T. Flowers leads off....with a double!!! M. Saunders moves him to third with a base hit. Ellsbury is given the intentional walk. Kinsler comes up and delivers a single to win the game! The Men are going to the World Series!!! Derek Jeter exits the field for the last time in his career - netting a double, a HBP and 483 paternity suits

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Solemn celebration ensues..