Lav Vegas, NV - We have learned that Fremont Chris Davis ate all the available Adderall in the Las Vegas area the first two months of the season.
Davis began 2013 on a phenomenal run, hitting 16 home runs in the
Fremont's first 29 games. Davis has cooled since hitting just one long
ball in his last 110 at bats. Around the time of Davis' power decline
reports of strange behavior came in through out Clark County. Test
scores and late night pizza deliveries plunged at the University of
Nevada - Las Vegas. Reports of narcoleptics falling
asleep in odd locations were also on the rise.
When reached for comment, Davis denied allegations saying, "I deny taking any sort of performance enhancing, hey, look at the squirrel."
Fremont management has contacted Shire plc, manufacturer of Adderall, for an emergency shipment.
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